When we go into hospital, we place our faith in medical knowledge, but we feel that we are ignored or mistreated by systems and individuals who certainly do not think that relating to their patients is a primary concern.

Alain Touraine (2000), Can we live together? Equality and difference. Stanford, CA (Stanford University Press), p. 19

The following pages offer access to a diary on my diagnosis and treatment with cancer of the esophagus.

Before you read any further check with more than one clinic what your options are. Regarding cancer, the situation is usually complicated, confusing and not very caring at all as far as established health care providers are concerned who are more interested in cash than in care.

After 9 months in the established health cash system with some devastating effects, I recommend Palliative Care Teams to consult before embarking on a strenuous course of "treatment", which may be rather useless in the first place. Check out, for example, the Brisbane Palliative Care Team, a group of people who are helping me through the terminal stages of the disease when others of the health cash system are still asking whether I want another dose of chemotherapy.

As a professional, I have studied health care systems "from the outside", as I have never been admitted to hospital or have never had a serious illness before. I don't know the health care system or hospitals "from the inside". That has changed in the past weeks and will be changing in the months to come.

As a cyberspace support for me, I installed a guestbook facility on all pages to enable friends and colleagues to feed back their thoughts and emotions, greetings and wishes. I followed the advice of a good friend of mine and called this facility "The Healing Circle". All contributions to the Healing Circle have been archived and are made available for the respective months January-March. You can access these pages via the navigation panel which is displayed at the bottom of each page.

The report is split into sections:

• First section - Introduction and some basic questions

• 5-14 January 2001 - Preparation and waiting

• 15-21 January 2001 - First week: combined radio- and chemotherapy

• 22-28 January 2001 - Second week: radiotherapy

• 29 January - 4 February 2001 - Third week: radiotherapy

• 5-11 February 2001 - Fourth week: radiotherapy

• 12-18 February 2001 - Fifth week: radiotherapy

• 19-25 February 2001 - Sixth week: combined radio- and chemotherapy

• 26 February - 4 March 2001 - Seventh week: radiotherapy

• 5-11 March 2001 - Eighth week: Break

• 12-18 March 2001 - Ninth week: Break

• 19-25 March 2001 - Tenth week: Assessment of results of radio- and chemotherapy

• Recovery Time? - No way.

• Towards the End Zone: Palliative Care - August-September

• Archive Healing Circle: January 2001

• Archive Healing Circle: February 2001

• Archive Healing Circle: March 2001

• Archive Healing Circle: August-September 16 2001

• Archive Healing Circle: Last entries September 17- November 29 2001

Read the Healing Circle Contribute to the Healing Circle