-
A penny
saved is ridiculous.
-
The only
thing that hurts more than paying income tax is not having to pay income
tax.
-
Intuition
(n): an uncanny sixth sense which tells people that they are right, whether
they are or not.
-
Dictatorship
(n): a form of government under which everything which is not prohibited
is compulsory.
-
Concerto
(n): a fight between a piano and a pianist.
-
Communist
(n): one who has given up all hope of becoming a Capitalist.
-
Book
(n): a utensil used to pass time while waiting for the TV repairman.
-
Bagpipes
(n): an octopus wearing a kilt.
-
Advertising
(n): the science of arresting the human intelligence for long enough to
get money from it.
Stephen
Leacock.
What
happens to the hole when the cheese is gone?
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
War
is like love; it always finds a way.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
Today
every invention is received with a cry of triumph which soon turns into
a cry of fear.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
What
is the crime of robbing a bank compared with the crime of founding one.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
He
who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
Poverty
makes you sad as well as wise.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
The
miracle is not to fly in the air, or to walk on the water, but to walk
on the earth.
Chinese
proverb
Love
your neighbors, but don't pull down the fence.
Chinese
proverb.
A
human being should be able to heal a wound, plan an expedition, order from
a French menu, climb a mountain face, enjoy a ballet, balance accounts,
roll a kayak, embolden a friend, tell a joke, laugh at himself, cooperate,
act alone, sing a children's song, solve equations, throw a dog a stick,
pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, love heartily, fight
efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.
Lew
Hitchner
For
every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
H.
L. Mencken
Perhaps
in time the so-called Dark Ages will be thought of as including our own.
G.C.
Lichtenberg
I
get my exercise running to the funerals of my friends who exercise.
Barry
Gray
I
dread success. To have succeeded is to have finished one's business on
earth, like the male spider, who is killed by the female the moment he
has succeeded in his courtship. I like a state of continual becoming, with
a goal in front and not behind.
George
Bernard Shaw
Be
careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.
Mark
Twain
Don't
go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.
It was here first.
Mark
Twain
It
is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits:
freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.
Mark
Twain
Whenever
you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.
Mark
Twain
Research
is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.
Wernher
von Braun
I
believe I have found the link between animals and civilized man. It is
us.
Konrad
Lorenz
When
all actions are mathematically calculated, they also take on a stupid quality.
Theodor
W. Adorno
Life
without risk would be like chilli without heat - edible but bland.
Gary
Egger, Ross Spark & Jim Lawson
The
risk climate of modernity is thus unsettling for everyone: no one escapes.
Anthony
Giddens
Life
is short, science is long; opportunity is elusive, experiment is dangerous,
judgement is difficult.
Hippocrates
A
wise man thinks it more advantageous not to join the battle than to win.
La
Rochefoucauld
There
is more to life than increasing it's speed.
Mahathma
Ghandi
In
fact, safety has no place anywhere. Everything that's fun in life is dangerous.
Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a
safe horse and the result is a cow (an appalling animal to watch at the
trotters.) And everything that isn't fun is dangerous too. It is impossible
to be alive and safe.
P.J.
O'Rourke
Moderation
is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.
Oscar
Wilde
Life
has become the ideology of its own absence.
Theodor
W. Adorno
Life
has changed into a timeless succession of shocks, interspaced with empty,
paralysed intervals.
Theodor
W. Adorno
All
you have to do is relax and feel your history, because it will never go
away and there is no future without it.
Raymond
Douglas Davies
If
you're patient and you wait long enough, something will usually happen
and it'll usually be something you don't like.
Kinky
Friedman
I
think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Thomas
Watson, chairman of IBM, 1958
Fishing
... is a sport invented by insects and you are the bait.
P.J.
O'Rourke
The
Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then gets
elected and proves it.
P.J.
O'Rourke
On
Friday, June 12, 1992, 110 heads of state gathered at Riocentro. They were
indistinguishable in dress and deportment. Where was biodiversity when
we needed it?
P.J.
O'Rourke
It's
not the 'nice' guy who brings about real social change. 'Nice' guys look
nice because they're conforming. It's the 'bad' guys, who only look nice
a hundred years later, that are the real Dynamic force in social evolution.
Robert
M. Pirsig
A
man who says that men are machines may be a great scientist. A man who
says he is a machine is 'depersonalized' in psychiatric jargon.
Ronald
D. Laing
Because
we have put ourselves in our own zoo, we find it difficult to break out.
Edward
T. Hall
As
far as Germany extends, it ruins culture.
Friedrich
Wilhelm Nietzsche
Self-worth
and financial worth become indistinguishable.
Peter
Russell
I
spent most of my time thinking, because I didn't have enough energy to
do anything else.
Banana
Yoshimoto
Liberals
like people with their heads, radicals like people with both their heads
and their hearts.
Saul
D. Alinsky
The
only nonpartisan people are those who are dead.
Saul
D. Alinsky
Our
world has always had two kinds of changers, the social changers and the
money changers.
Saul
D. Alinsky
Neither
love nor terror makes one blind: indifference makes one blind.
James
Baldwin
If
all you want to do is make money, the very last thing you need is imagination.
James
Baldwin
Creative
thought must always contain a random component.
Gregory
Bateson
Information
consists of differences that make a difference.
Gregory
Bateson
Science
probes; it does not prove.
Gregory
Bateson
Those
who lack all idea that it is possible to be wrong can learn nothing except
know-how.
Gregory
Bateson
In
the nature of the case, an explorer can never know what he is exploring
until it has been explored.
Gregory
Bateson
If
the expenditure of money for entertainment in America is any indication
of taste, clearly the majority of us are addicted to trash.
Marlon
Brando
When
time grows short, self-serving wins out over others-serving.
Lee
Burns
I
don't believe in heroism; I know it's easy and I've learned it can be murderous.
What interests me is living and dying for what one loves.
Albert
Camus
Pity
is easy, but it is difficult to care.
Raymond
Douglas Davies
Institutions
have the pathetic megalomania of the computer whose whole vision of the
world is its own program.
Mary
Douglas
Social
evolution may be the result of intention, but it rarely, if ever, produces
the result intended.
Rene
Dubos
In
man, at least, satisfaction is commonly followed by boredom.
Rene
Dubos
One
may wonder indeed whether the pretense of superior health is not itself
rapidly becoming a mental aberration.
Rene
Dubos
You
are always born under the wrong sign, and to live in this world properly
you have to rewrite your own horoscope day by day.
Umberto
Eco
Fools
are in great demand, especially on social occasions. They embarrass everyone
but provide material for conversation. In their positive form, they become
diplomats.
Umberto
Eco
Our
agenda, by necessity, is as complex and encompassing as the problems we
face: beware of politicians promising simple solutions.
Amitai
Etzioni
The
same men who are blind and deaf to feminism are acutely sensitive to what
threatens their dominance and privilege.
Marilyn
French
The
view of life as a struggle for power generates a language in which life
has no significance and only power matters.
Marilyn
French
In
six days the Lord created the heavens and the earth and all the wonders
therein. There are some of us who feel that He might have taken just a
little more time.
Kinky
Friedman
They
say that death is just nature's way of telling you to slow down a little
bit.
Kinky
Friedman
Golf
is the only opportunity that middle-aged WASPs have to dress up like a
pimp.
Kinky
Friedman
Now
I have a cat. Well, that's not quite accurate. A cat and I have each other.
Kinky
Friedman
People
know elections, like television commercials, are not real.
William
Greider
If
everyone has to be a watchdog in order to make government work, then the
foxes will also volunteer to serve.
William
Greider
The
problem of modern democracy is rooted in its neglect of unorganized people.
William
Greider
It
is better to be full of drink than full of food.
Hippocrates
In
life, man proposes, God disposes.
Aldous
Huxley
If
you are free, you are not predictable and you are not controllable.
June
Jordan
Sometimes
we become so sophisticated we have to read the New York Times in order
to figure out whether it's a hot or a rainy day.
June
Jordan
War
is always a professional enterprise; despair is left to amateurs.
Hans
Koning
What
we think is less than what we know; what we know is less than what we love;
what we love is so much less than what there is. And to that precise extent
we are so much less than what we are.
Ronald
D. Laing
Wilderness
is a resource which can shrink but not grow.
Aldo
Leopold
The
modern dogma is comfort at any cost.
Aldo
Leopold
To
build a road is so much simpler than to think of what the country really
needs.
Aldo
Leopold
Good
health has become a new ritual of patriotism, a market place for the public
display of secular faith in the power of will.
Roger
Levin
What
our laws show is the extent and degree to which conflict has to be suppressed.
Alasdair
MacIntyre
Truth
has been displaced as a value and replaced by psychological effectiveness.
Alasdair
MacIntyre
Modern
politics is civil war carried on by other means.
Alasdair
MacIntyre
I
can't understand why you don't get any mail from me. Perhaps it's because
I haven't been writing.
Groucho
Marx
Please
accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have
me as a member.
Groucho
Marx
TV
is the rat race of the century.
Groucho
Marx
The
earth is a museum of divine intent.
Bill
McKibben
We
have assumed control where once we worked with what we were given.
Bill
McKibben
Our
weird problem is an abundance of resources and a shortage of hard economic
reasons not to use them.
Bill
McKibben
Originality
is the one thing which unoriginal minds cannot feel the use of.
John
Stuart Mill
Through
men ... you learn how the world is. Through women you learn what it is.
Cees
Nooteboom
Man
is a sad mammal that combs its hair.
Cees
Nooteboom
All
animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others.
George
Orwell
Time
makes more converts than reason.
Thomas
Paine
Individuals
would never have a chance acting alone; only organized people could balance
organized money.
Mary
Beth Rogers
Of
course, everyone wants to be healthy. The amusing thing is no one's really
sure how to do it.
Jerry
Seinfeld
The
rich are very charitable: they understand that they have to pay ransom
for their riches.
Bernard
Shaw
Individuals
control their behavior in order to control the behavior of others.
Paul
Sites
And
keep in mind: statistically you can prove that most Miami residents are
born Cuban and die Jewish!
Robert
L. Taylor
It
makes me angry when people insist that I have a responsibility to do what
they think I should do.
Pete
Townshend
Rational
answers seldom do explain.
Patrick
White
While
there are men, there will always be lies.
Patrick
White
To
kiss and to kill are similar words to eyes that focus with difficulty.
Patrick
White
Nothing
is so dangerous as being too modern. One is apt to grow old-fashioned quite
suddenly.
Oscar
Wilde
To
love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.
Oscar
Wilde
Questions
are never indiscreet. Answers sometimes are.
Oscar
Wilde
The
only difference between the saint and the sinner is that every saint has
a past, and every sinner has a future.
Oscar
Wilde
Men
become old, but they never become good.
Oscar
Wilde
To
be popular one must be a mediocrity.
Oscar
Wilde
I
can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable.
Oscar
Wilde
Like
all people who try to exhaust a subject, he exhausted his listeners.
Oscar
Wilde
Philosophical
problems arise when language goes on holiday.
Ludwig
Wittgenstein
Screw
us once, shame on them; screw us twice, shame on us.
Jessica
Zafra
The
side without power is always the side that is accused of being irrational.
Xianliang
Zhang
Only
pessimists have a tolerant attitude.
Xianliang
Zhang
Never
ask the gods for life set free from grief, but ask for courage that endureth
long.
Menander
(B.C. 342-291)
Liberty
is given by nature even to mute animals.
Tacitus
(55-117 A.D.)
Love
is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.
Voltaire
(1694-1778)
Behold
the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.
James
B. Conant (1893-1978)
Nothing
is more useful than silence.
Menander
(B.C. 342-291)
The
world is full of suffering. Birth is suffering, decre- pitude is suffering,
sickness and death are sufferings. To face a man of hatred is suffering,
to be separated from a beloved one is suffering, to be vainly struggling
to satisfy one's needs is suffering. In fact, life that is not free from
desire and passion is always involved with suffering.
Buddha
(B.C. 568-488)
Show
me a thoroughly satisfied man - and I will show you a failure.
Thomas
A. Edison (1847-1931)
Let
no man fear to die, we love to sleep all, And death is but the sounder
sleep.
Francis
Beaumont (1584-1616)
When
a broken tank is filled with water, It certainly will leak on every side.
Weak men who grow rich Seldom leave an inheritance.
Saskya
Pandita (1182-1251)
Art
is the stored honey of the human soul, gathered on wings of misery and
travail.
Theodore
Dreiser (1871-1945)
I
dreamed a thousand new paths ... I woke and walked my old one.
Chinese
Proverb
Let
your life lightly dance on the edges of time like dew on the tip of a leaf.
Rabindranath
Tagore (1861-1941)
Doubt,
of whatever kind, can be ended by Action alone.
Carlyle
(1795-1881)
Not
every end is a goal. The end of a melody is not its goal; however, if the
melody has not reached its end, it would also not have reached its goal.
Nietzsche
(1844-1900)
A
great obstacle to happiness is to expect too much happiness.
Fontenelle
(1657-1757)
To
fight and conquer in all your battles is not supreme excellence; supreme
excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting.
Sun
Tzu (fl. c. B.C. 500)
The
integrity of men is to be measured by their conduct, not by their professions.
Junius
(1740-1818)
The
shepherd drives the wolf from the sheep's throat, for which the sheep thanks
the shepherd as his liberator, while the wolf denounces him for the same
act as the destroyer of liberty.
Lincoln
(1809-1865)
The
more extensive a man's knowledge of what has been done, the greater will
be his power of knowing what to do.
Disraeli
(1804-1881)
We
do not know what to do with this short life, yet we want another which
will be eternal.
Anatole
France (1844-1924)
The
future comes one day at a time.
Dean
Acheson (1893-1971)
Tomorrow
is a satire on today, And shows its weakness.
Young
(1683-1765)
Words
are often seen hunting for an idea, but ideas are never seen hunting for
words.
Josh
Billings (1815-1885)
Every
wave is new until it breaks.
Neil
Young
Every
exit is an entry to somewhere else.
Tom
Stoppard
Whatever
you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
Mahatma
Gandhi
Some
people think that because they do the opposite of what they are asked to
do, they have initiative
Ovid
I'm
not denying that women are foolish. God almighty made them to match men.
George
Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
The
mind embraces all the nobler aspirations but your body has all the fun.
Woody
Allen
If
you don't make mistakes, you don't make anything
Joseph
Conrad
Life
is like a sewer - what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
Tom
Lehrer
In
a connected world, you've gotta know the links.
Me
And
the seasons they go round and round,
And
the painted ponies go up and down,
We're
captive on the carousel of time,
We
can't return, we can only look behind,
From
where we came and go round and round and round
In
the circle game.
Joni
Mitchell
'Tis
writ on Paradise's gate Woe to the dupe that yields to Fate!
Hafiz
(1325?-1390?)
The
paradox of courage is that a man must be a little careless of his life
in order to keep it.
G.
K. Chesterton (1874-1936)
Health
promotion is a political enterprise rooted in human preferences and prejudices
- and these add greatly to its capacity to mislead.
David
Seedhouse
Instead
of exposures to toxic materials and mechanical dangers, we are discovering
the toxicity of social circumstances and patterns of social organization.
Richard
G. Wilkinson
Whoever
undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of truth and knowledge
is shipwrecked by the laughter of the Gods.
Albert
Einstein
I
have no special gift. I am only passionately curious.
Albert
Einstein
A
hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are
based on the labors of others.
Albert
Einstein
Great
spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
Albert
Einstein
No
problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.
Albert
Einstein
If
there is any truth to reincarnation, this must be my first trip through,
'cause I don't recognize anything.
Hoyt
Axton
Thus
we never live, but we hope to live; and always disposing ourselves to be
happy, it is inevitable that we never become so.
Blaise
Pascal
There
were but two families in the world, Have-much and Have-little.
Miguel
de Cervantes 1547-1616
Many
go out for wool, and come home shorn themselves.
Miguel
de Cervantes 1547-1616
I
know everything except myself.
Francois
Villon
There
are only two important things in politics. The first is money and I can't
remember the second.
Mark
Hanna
A
lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on
its shoes.
Mark
Twain 1835-1910
The
past cannot be changed, the future is still in your power.
Hugh
White 1773-1840
We
must all obey the great law of change. It is the most powerful law of nature.
Burke
1729-1797
There
are scores of thousands of sects who are ready at a moment's notice to
reveal the will of God on every possible subject
G.B.
Shaw 1856-1950
Every
work of art is an uncommitted crime.
Theodor
W. Adorno
The
task of art today is to bring chaos into order.
Theodor
W. Adorno
Apocalypse
has become banal, a set of statistical risk parameters to everyone's existence.
Anthony
Giddens
The
abolition of the class struggle does not mean the abolition of the need
to struggle as a principle of development.
Antonio
Gramsci
Democracy
is held captive, not just by money, but by ideas - the ideas that money
buys.
William
Greider
Agitation
and commitment are dangerous for the peace of humanity, and the only thing
which is even more dangerous is their absence.
Hans
Koning
The
'data' (given) of research are not so much given as taken out of a constantly
elusive matrix of happenings. We should speak of capta rather than data.
Ronald
D. Laing
Education,
I fear, is learning to see one thing by going blind to another.
Aldo
Leopold
I
hate churches, all of them. But they used to know something about the importance
of silence.
Ferdinand
Mount
Individuals
control their behavior in order to control the behavior of others.
Paul
Sites
Everything
has changed and nothing is changed.
Susan
Sontag
Few
ever see what is not already inside their heads.
Susan
Sontag
Sight
is a promiscuous sense. The avid gaze always wants more.
Susan
Sontag
One
must be serious about something, if one wants to have any amusement in
life.
Oscar
Wilde
I
am too fond of reading books to care to write them.
Oscar
Wilde
Children
begin by loving their parents: as they grow older they judge them; sometimes
they forgive them.
Oscar
Wilde
The
secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor
in heaven.
Mark
Twain (1835-1910)
Music
is well said to be the speech of angels.
Carlyle
(1795-1881)
Method
is more important than strength, when you wish to control your enemies.
By dropping golden beads near a snake, a crow once managed To have a passerby
kill the snake for the beads.
Nagarjuna
(c. 100-200 A.D.)
The
only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what
you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.
Mark
Twain
There's
a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health
that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
Josh
Billings
I
don't want to be a genius, I have enough problems just trying to be a man.
Albert
Camus
God
created man in His own image, says the Bible; philosophers reverse the
process: they create God in theirs.
G.
C. Lichtenberg
A
government is the only known vessel that leaks from the top.
James
Reston
If
falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to
do it. It takes too long.
Glenn,
age 7
Love
will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I been trying to
hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.
Dave,
age 8
Don't
forget your wife's name ... that will mess up the love.
Erin,
age 8
In
life, as in art, the beautiful moves in curves.
Bulwer-Lytton
(1803-1873)
Virtue
is a kind of health, beauty and good habit of the soul.
Plato
(B.C. 427?-347?)
A
religion that requires persecution to sustain it is of the devil's propagation.
Hosea
Ballou (1771-1852)
Experience
is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to
him.
Aldous
Huxley (1894-1963)
Be
slow of tongue and quick of eye.
Cervantes
(1547-1616)
The
important thing is, not to stop questioning.
Albert
Einstein
I
got a simple rule about everybody. If you don't treat me right - shame
on you.
Louis
Armstrong
Look
around you! This is where the path of hatred has brought us.
Pocahontas
The
best things in life aren't things.
Art
Buchwald
To
the query, 'What is a friend?' his reply was 'A single soul dwelling in
two bodies.'
Aristotle
Be
yourself - who else is better qualified?
Frank
J. Giblin II
You
don't get harmony when everybody sings the same note.
Doug
Floyd
Remember,
we all stumble, every one of us. That's why it's a comfort to go hand in
hand.
Emily
Kimbrough
Never
look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.
The
Reverend Jesse Jackson
It
takes a long time to become young.
Pablo
Picasso
'Stay'
is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary.
Louisa
May Alcott
Age
is of no importance unless you are a cheese.
Billie
Burke
Murphy's
Law:
It
is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
Murphy's
Law:
Nature
always sides with the hidden flaw.
Murphy's
Law:
Enough
research will tend to support your theory.
Murphy's
Law:
Logic
is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Murphy's
Law:
If
builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first
woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Murphy's
Law:
A
meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
Murphy's
Law:
The
first myth of management is that it exists.
Murphy's
Law:
Smile,
it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
Alan's
Law of Research:
The
theory is supported as long as the funds are.
Ashley-Perry
Statistical Axioms:
The
product of an arithmetical computation is the answer to an equation; it
is not the solution to a problem.
Bok's
Law:
If
you think education is expensive - try ignorance.
Grossman's
Misquote:
Complex
problems have simple, easy to understand wrong answers.
Krueger's
Observation:
A
taxpayer is someone who does not have to take a civil service exam in order
to work for the government.
Levy's
Law:
Only
God can make a random selection.
Morton's
Law:
If
rats are experimented upon, they will develop cancer. (What this country
needs are some stronger white rats.)
Oppenheimer's
Observation:
The
optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist
knows it.
Law
of Raspberry Jam:
The
wider any culture is spread, the thinner it gets.
Schultze's
Law:
If
you can't measure output, then you measure input.
Thoreau's
Law:
If
you see a man approaching with the obvious intent of doing you good, run
for your life.
Consider
pleasures as they depart, not as they come.
Aristotle
(B.C. 384-322)
We
trained hard - but every time we were beginning to form into teams we would
be restructured. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any
situation by restructuring ... and a wonderful method it can be for creating
an illusion of progress, while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralisation.
Petronius
Obit/Petronius Arbiter 100BC or AD 66
Human
health is connected to the environment much like a rainbow that connects
sky and earth.
Lorelei
Anne Lambert Colomeda
The
poor man must walk to get meat for his stomach, the rich man to get a stomach
to his meat.
Franklin
(1706-1790)
The
thinker makes a great mistake when he asks after cause and effect. They
both together make up the indivisible phenomena.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
Everything
is simpler than you think and at the same time more complex than you imagine.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
I
can promise to be sincere, but not to be impartial.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
There
are times when one would like to hang the whole human race, and finish
the farce.
Mark
Twain, 1871
Work
is a four-letter word, fun isn't.
Anonymous
Atheism
is a non-prophet organization.
Anonymous
It
has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in lab rats.
Anonymous
Matrimony
- the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented.
Heinrich
Heine (1797-1856)
Here
the melting pot stands open - if you're willing to get bleached first.
Buffy
Sainte-Marie
Piglet
sidled up to Pooh from behind. Pooh! he whispered. Yes, Piglet? Nothing,
said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. I just wanted to be sure of you.
Winnie
The Pooh
You
can't help respecting anybody who can spell TUESDAY, even if he doesn't
spell it right; but spelling isn't everything. There are days when spelling
Tuesday simply doesn't count.
Winnie
The Pooh
He's
a Fool that makes his Doctor his Heir.
Franklin
(1706-1790)
The
great are great only because we are on our knees. Let us rise!
Max
Stirner
When
I feed the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no
food, they call me a communist.
Dom
Helder Camara, Archbishop of Recife
Don't
part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you
have ceased to live.
Mark
Twain
What
is Man? Man is a noisome bacillus whom Our Heavenly Father created because
he was disappointed in the monkey.
Mark
Twain
All
of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can't get it out.
Mark
Twain
It
is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and
moral courage so rare.
Mark
Twain
A
half-educated physician is not valuable. He thinks he can cure everything.
Mark
Twain
The
man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after
it, he knows too little.
Mark
Twain
I
can live for two months on a good compliment.
Mark
Twain
When
we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands
explained.
Mark
Twain
I
am no lazier now than I was forty years ago, but that is because I reached
the limit forty years ago. You can't go beyond possibility.
Mark
Twain
What,
Sir, would the people of the earth be without women? They would be scarce,
Sir, almighty scarce.
Mark
Twain
Words
ought to be a little wild, for they are the assault of thoughts upon the
unthinking.
J.M.
Keynes
I
disapprove of what you say, but will defend to the death your right to
say it.
Voltaire
Only
after the last tree has been cut down
Only
after the last river has been poisened
Only
after the last fish has been caught
Then
will you find that money cannot be eaten
Cree
Prophecy
Sometimes
the best gain is to lose.
Herbert
(1593-1632)
Beauty
is power. A smile is its sword.
Charles
Reade (1814-1884)
If
looks could kill I need a license for my face.
Del
Amitri
The
desire of a man for a woman is not directed at her because she is a human
being, but because she is a woman. That she is a human being is of no concern
to him.
Immanuel
Kant
The
difference between perseverance and obstinacy is: that one often comes
from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't.
Beecher
(1813-1878)
Judge
a tree from its fruit; not from the leaves.
Euripides
(B.C. 480-406)
If
you come here to help me, then you are wasting your time. But if you come
here because your liberation is bound up in mine, then let us begin.
Lilla Watson, Indigenous Australian educator and activist
Only
when lions have historians will hunters cease being heroes.
African
Proverb
As
is a tale, so is life: not how long it is, but how good it is, is what
matters.
Seneca
(B.C. 3-65 A.D.)
If
you create an act, you create a habit. If you create a habit, you create
a character. If you create a character, you create a destiny.
Andre
Maurois (1885-1967)
There's
not much need for prophets who are in synch with their society.
Theodor
W. Adorno
The
higher we rise, the more isolated we become. All elevations are cold.
Boufflers
(1738-1815)
The
way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
G.K.
Chesterton
If
we do not discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us.
William
Feather (born 1888)
Love
in its essence is spiritual fire.
Swedenborg
(1688-1772)
True
knowledge is a virtue of the talented, but harmful to those without discernment.
Spring water free of impurity, entering the ocean, becomes undrinkable.
Nagarjuna
(c. 100-200 A.D.)
This
body is not a home, but an inn; and that only for a short time.
Seneca
(B.C. 3-65 A.D.)
A
bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask
for it back when it begins to rain.
Robert
Frost
It's
faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes life worth living.
Oliver
Wendell Holmes (1809-1894)
At
the outset, the man does not comprehend the nature of prevailing forces
nor does he perceive them as a connected whole. This superficial view is
acceptable for the masses, but the superior man should know better.
I
Ching (B.C. 1150?)
Laws
are generally not understood by three sorts of persons: those that make
them, those that execute them, and those that suffer if they break them.
Halifax
(1633-1695)
As
shadows attend substances, so words follow upon things.
Trench
(1807-1886)
The
talent of success is nothing more than doing what you can do well, and
doing well whatever you do without thought of fame. If it comes at all
it will come because it is deserved, not because it is sought after.
Longfellow
(1807-1882)
One
should count each day a separate life.
Seneca
(B.C. 3-65 A.D.)
It
is a man's own mind - not his enemy or his foe that lures him into evil
ways.
Buddha
(B.C. 568-488)
America
is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization
in between.
Oscar
Wilde
Anytime
you wish to demonstrate something, the number of faults encountered is
proportional to the number of viewers.
Albreact's
Law
Misery
no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
Barber's
Laws of Backpacking
At
some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability
to succeed in spite of itself runs out.
Brown's
Law of Business Success
Every
man's life is a fairy tale, written by God's fingers.
Hans
Christian Anderson (1802-1875)
Things
forbidden have a secret charm.
Tacitus
(55-117 A.D.)
If
fifty million people say a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.
Anatole
France (1844-1924)
There
are a significant number of learned men and women who hold that any successful
effort to make ideas lively, intelligible and interesting is a manifestation
of deficient scholarship. This is the fortress behind which the minimally
coherent regularly find refuge.
John
K. Galbraith (1987)
There
is no little enemy.
Franklin
(1706-1790)
The
secret of success is constancy of purpose.
Disraeli
(1804-1881)
All
strangers and beggars are from God, and a gift, though small, is precious.
Homer
(c. BC 700)
Character
is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think
of it; the tree is the real thing.
Lincoln
(1809-1865)
Life
is what happens to you, while you're busy making other plans.
John
Lennon (1940-1980)
The
stars are matter, we're matter, but it doesn't matter.
Don
Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart)
Earth
... God's golf ball.
Don
Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart)
It's
not worth getting into the bullshit to see what the bull ate.
Don
Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart) on drugs
I
think that men has the most highly developed intelligence. I think men
get so intelligent that they're stupid.
Don
Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart)
The
largest flying land mammal is the absent mind.
Don
Van Vliet (Captain Beefheart)
If
a nation values anything more than freedom, it will lose its freedom: and
the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money that it values more,
it will lose that, too.
Somerset
Maugham (1874-1965) font>
Life
(and music) is about doing it, because you 'feel' it is a good idea and
then maybe, if there's nothing better to do, understanding it.
DK
(1952- )
The
one who rides the donkey does not know the ground is hot.
Ghanaian
proverb
It's
easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
Alfred
Adler (1870-1937)
California
is a nice place to live if you happen to be an orange.
Fred
Allen
When
you blame others, you give up your power to change.
Dr
Robert Anthony
Why
be a man when you can be a success?
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
Your
theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true.
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
I
dont want 'yes-men' around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even
if it costs them their jobs.
Samuel
Goldwyn
Unhappy
the land that is in need of heroes.t>
Bertolt
Brecht (1898-1956)
To
the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.
Voltaire
(1694-1778)
We
apologize for the inconvenience.
God's
final message to His creation
From
the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with
laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Groucho
Marx (1890-1977)
The
power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who
have not got it.
George
Bernard Shaw (1856-1950)
If
I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah
Bankhead (1902-1968)
All
progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.
Adlai
E. Stevenson (1900-1965)
A
taste for truth at any cost is a passion which spares nothing.
Albert
Camus
The
patient is the one with the disease.
The
House of God
The
first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
Kids'
ideas of the Bible
The
greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still,
and he obeyed him.
Kids'
ideas of the Bible
Lot's
wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
Kids'
ideas of the Bible
The
problem with political jokes is they get elected.
Henry
Cate VII
If
God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel
Brooks
We
can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as
they go by.
Will
Rogers
Technology
is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience
it.
Max
Frisch
If
God lived on earth, people would break his windows.
Jewish
proverb
Laugh
and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
Anthony
Burgess
I
sometimes think that God, in creating man, overestimated His ability.
Oscar
Wilde
We
don't want to go back to tomorrow, we want to go forward.
Vice
President Dan Quayle
50%
of all people are below average.
Anonymous
Some
days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.
Anonymous
To
his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
Aldous
Huxley
Women
an cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used
to the idea.
Robert
A. Henlein
The
frog in the deep well cannot see the great ocean.
Chinese
proverb
The
velocity with which time flies is infinite as is most apparent to those
who look back.
Seneca
(B.C. 3-65 A.C.)
Don't
accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Ann
Landers
If
you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you;
that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
Mark
Twain
The
winds and the waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.
Gibbon
(1737-1794)
They
can because they think they can.
Vergil
(B.C. 70-19)
Beware,
for the most sacred cow may become the tiger's breakfast.
Mohan
Singh
Remember
always to be grateful for the millions of people everywhere whose despicable
habits make health education necessary.
Mohan
Singh
He
who lives by bread alone needs sex education.
Mohan
Singh
Consider
the wombat and be grateful.
Mohan
Singh
Be
careful how you pronounce health promotion, lest the listener believe self-promotion
to be your objective.
Mohan
Singh
In
the beginning was the Word, and the Word was an Acronym.
Mohan
Singh
Lemmings
may know something.
Mohan
Singh
The
evaluator counts the ants at the picnic of progress.
Mohan
Singh
Many
milestones are also millstones.
Mohan
Singh
True
tigers don't eat tofu.
Mohan
Singh
It
is noble to assist a stricken elephant in rising, but it is foolhardy to
catch one that is falling down.
Mohan
Singh
A
healthy person is one who has not been adequately researched.
Mohan
Singh
Will
the insects prove to be our Control Group?
Mohan
Singh
When
the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land.
They said let us close our eyes and pray. When we opened our eyes we had
the Bible and they had the land.
Bishop
Desmond Tutu
Mankind
fears an evil man, but heaven does not.
Chinese
Proverb
Paradise
is always where love dwells.
Richter
(1763-1825)
Better
know nothing than half-know many things.
Nietzsche
(1844-1900)
If
the Indians today are not fictitious, then know them
Rita
Joe
From
the right to know and the duty to inquire flows the obligation to act.
Sandra
Steingraber, author of Living Downstream: An Ecologist Looks at Cancer
and the Environment
Always
remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Anonymous
Everyone
has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Anonymous
Believe
those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
Andre
Gide
Do
not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.
Bertolt
Brecht
In
1977 there were 37 Elvis impersonators in the world. In 1993, there were
48,000. At this rate, by the year 2010 one out of every three people will
be an Elvis impersonator.
Anonymous
Love
is a fire - It burns everyone - It disfigures everyone It is the world's
excuse for being ugly.
Leonard
Cohen
Eternal
vigilance is the price of liberty.
John
Philpot Curran (1750-1817)
It
is necessary from the very nature of things that power should be a check
to power.
Montesquieu
(1689-1755)
Not
everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can
be counted.
Albert
Einstein
Only
two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not
sure about the former.
Albert
Einstein
Teaching
should be such that what is offered is perceived as a valuable gift and
not as a hard duty.
Albert
Einstein
Success
has a great tendency to conceal and throw a veil over the evil deeds of
men.
Demosthenes
(B.C. 384-322)
Happiness
is the light on the water. The water is cold and dark and deep.
William
Maxwell (1676-1744)
Hope
is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
Bacon
(1561-1626)
Man:
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman:
Unfertilized!
It
is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends
upon his not understanding it.
Upton
Sinclair
If
pro is the opposite of con, is the congress the opposite of progress?
Russell
Means, Oglala
How
smooth must be the language of the whites, when they can make right look
like wrong, and wrong like right.
Black
Hawk, Sauk
Respect
means listening until everyone has been heard and understood, only then
is there a possibility of 'Balance and Harmony' the goal of Indian Spirituality.
Dave
Chief, Grandfather of Red Dog
Where
no one intrudes, many can live in harmony.
Chief
Dan George
The
white man says, there is freedom and justice for all. We have had 'freedom
and justice', and that is why we have been almost exterminated. We shall
not forget this.
From
the 1927 Grand Council of American Indians
Those
who take the meat from the table, teach contentment. Those for whom the
taxes are destined, demand sacrifice. Those who eat their fill, speak to
the hungry of wonderful times to come. Those who lead the country into
the abyss, call ruling difficult for ordinary folk.
Bertolt
Brecht
The
utmost good faith shall always be observed towards Indians; their land
and property shall never be taken from them without their consent.
Northwest
Ordinance, 1787, Ratified by Congress 1789
Dogs
come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later.
Mary
Bly
To
be humane, we must ever be ready to pronounce that wise, ingenious and
modest statement 'I do not know'.
Galileo
Galilei
It
is opposition that makes us productive.
Johann
Wolfgang von Goethe
What
could an entirely rational being speak of with another entirely rational
being?
Emmanuel
Levinas
It
is not that they cannot see the solution. It is that they cannot see the
problem.
G.K.
Chesterton (1874-1936)
Action
is the last refuge of those who cannot dream.
Oscar
Wilde (1854-1900)
Anything
worth doing is worth doing slowly.
Mae
West (1892-1980)
What
is film after all but life with the dull bits cut out?
Alfred
Hitchcock
If
we don't know where we are going, it can be helpful to know where we come
from.
Jostein
Gaarder
There
is one art of which man should be master, the art of reflection.
Samuel
Coleridge (1772-1834)
If
you can't give me flowers while I'm alive,
Then
please don't throw them when I'm gone.
Terry
Allen - Singer-Songwriter
When
I rise it will be with the ranks and not from the ranks.
Eugene
V. Debs (1855-1926), Founder of the Socialist Party of America
Teachers
who offer you the ultimate answers do not possess the ultimate answers,
for if they did, they would know that the ultimate answers cannot be given,
they can only be received.
Tom
Robbins
With money a dragon
Without money a worm.
Chinese Proverb
It's not that easy being green.
Kermit The Frog
[Referring to a glass of water:] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don't trust
anybody!
Steven Wright
I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes ...
Steven Wright
Friendship is Love without his wings!
Byron (1788-1824)
I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time.
Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright
The temple of our purest thoughts is silence.
Sarah J. Hale (1788-1879)
In the view of the fact that nature is dying, political developments are of secondary importance.
Wolfgang Hildesheimer - German writer
Everything in nature is a cause from which there flows some effect.
Spinoza (1632-1677)
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
Kierkegaard (1813-1855)
Honesty without compassion and understanding, is not honesty, but subtle hostility.
Dr. Rose Franzblau
To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.
Chinese Proverb
I saw a sign: 'Rest Area 25 Miles'. That's pretty big. Some people must be really tired.
Steven Wright
One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, 'Didn't you see the stop sign?' I said, 'Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read.'
Steven Wright
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said, 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Steven Wright
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Steven Wright
You can't have everything. Where would you put it?
Steven Wright
General observations drawn from particulars are the jewels of knowledge, comprehending great store in a little room.
John Locke (1632-1704)
Of all virtues and dignities of the mind, goodness is the greatest, being the character of the Deity; and without it, man is a busy, mischievous, wretched thing.
Bacon (1561-1626)
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
Steven Wright
They say we're 98% water. We're that close to drowning ... (picks up his glass of water from the stool) ... I like to live on the edge.
Steven Wright
When spiders unite, they can tie down a lion.
Ethiopian proverb
I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
A 83 year old woman
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Steven Wright
I'm not waiting for times to change
I want to live like a free-roaming soul
on the highway of our love.
Neil Young
If you would be a real seeker after truth, it is necessary that at least once in your life you doubt, as far as possible, all things.
Rene Descartes (1596-1650)
Nature has perfections, in order to show that she is the image of God; and defects, to show that she is only his image.
Pascal (1623-1662)
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
Steven Wright
We have forgotten who we are,
we have lost our sense of wonder and connectedness,
we have degraded the earth and our fellow creatures,
and we have nowhere else to go ...
Earth Charter
Democracy it seems is becoming just too inconvenient for Capital.
DK
Be of an exceedingly humble spirit, for the end of man is the worm.
The Talmud (B.C. 500?-400? A.D.)
Strive to preserve your health; and in this you will better succeed in proportion as you keep clear of the physicians, for their drugs are a kind of alchemy concerning which there are no fewer books than there are medicines.
Leonardo Da Vinci (1452-1519)
I have the world's largest collection of seashells. I keep it on all the beaches of the world ... perhaps you've seen it.
Steven Wright
In Germany, the Nazis first came for the Communists, and I didn't speak up because I was not a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews, and I didn't speak up because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn't speak up because I was not a trade unionist.
Then they came for the Catholics, but I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me, and by that time no one was left to speak up."
Protestant Pastor Martin Niemöller (1892-1984)
Never befriend the oppressed unless you are prepared to take on the oppressor.
Author unknown
My debts are large, my failures great, my shame secret and heavy; yet when I come to ask for my good, I quake in fear lest my prayer be granted.
Rabindranath Tagore (1861-1941)
Someone sent me a postcard picture of the earth. On the back it said, "Wish you were here."
Steven Wright
On September 26th, of the year one thousand two hundred and sixty-four, at dawn, the Duke of Auge climbed to the top of his castle's tower, to consider for a moment the historical situation. He found it rather obscure.
Raymond Queneau (1903-1976)
Anybody can win - unless there happens to be a second entry.
Ade's Law
Science is Truth. Don't be misled by fact.
Finagle's Creed
Reforms come from below. No man with four aces howls for a new deal.
Fundamental Tenet of Reform
Any philosophy that can be put 'in a nutshell' belongs there.
Harris's Law
A consultant is someone who, when hired to find out what time it is, borrows your watch to find out.
Rodriguez's Observation
Academic politics is the most vicious and bitter form of politics, because the stakes are so low.
Sayre's Third Law of Politics
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot.
Steven Wright
Anxiety is the space between the 'now' and the 'then'.
Richard Abell
When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.
Jimmy Breslin
Our inequality materializes our upper class, vulgarizes our middle class, brutalizes our lower class.
Matthew Arnold (1822-1888)
If our civilization is destroyed, it will not be by barbarians from below. Our barbarians come from above.
Henry Demarest Lloyd (1847-1903)
To turn $100 into $110 is work. To turn $100 million into $110 million is inevitable.
Edgar Bronfman, Seagrams Co
Sometimes I think more creativity is put into muffin recipes than into the rest of society combined.
Jerry Seinfeld
We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people.
Martin Luther King, Jr.
Highly creative people don't necessarily excel in raw brainpower. They are misfits on some level. They tend to question accepted views and to consider contradictory ones.
Gregg Pascal Zachary
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.
Winston Churchill
Even when you're dead, you must never allow yourself just to lie down and be buried.
Gordon Lee - English Football Coach
Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true.
Charles Dickens
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
Bette Reeves
For anyone who has children and doesn't know it, there is a day care centre on the first floor.
Announcement at a conference
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Anonymous
Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
Anonymous
Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
Anonymous
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
Anonymous
I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.
Ernest Hemingway
Having fun is about as good a habit as there is.
Jimmy Buffet, singer and songwriter
You say 'I am rich; acquired wealth and do not need a thing.' But you do not realise that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.
Revelation 3:17 (God via John 95 AD)
When you're poor you're called good-for-nothing, when you're rich you're called president.
Conrado de Quiros, Philippine journalist
Electronic communication makes possible what has previously been excluded: namely, active, simultaneous and reciprocal contact between individuals across all frontiers constituted by countries, religions and continents.
Ulrich Beck
Madness is no madness when shared.
Zygmunt Bauman, philosopher
We have managed to make the celebration of diversity our mode of resistance.
Vandana Shiva, Alternate Nobel Prize winner
If Picasso walked into Disney looking for a job, they would throw him out on the street. Couldn't draw good enough.
T-Bone Burnett, rock musician
Every one is a moon and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody.
Mark Twain
